A washer and dryer.

I have a two-in-one combo from LG, large capacity--love it! Yes, it takes forever to dry so I start a load before bed, let it run overnight, wake up to clean and dry clothes.

Most of the stuff in my bag is for me.... I have a couple of changes of clothes, phone chargers, snacks, toiletries, caffeinated tea bags, and your file.  For you I have little things like spare chapsticks, disposable toothbrushes, bendy straws, hair ties, and my camera, in case you forgot yours. 

This is not the description you usually find on the web for doula bag supplies. But in reality the most important "thing" that I bring to your birth is me! I use makeshift things for counter pressure. Last time I used a bottle of water. Which was great because I could alternate hot and cold with water as the mom requested. I've also made a rebozo out of a spare hospital gown. If I see a mom uncomfortable in her position, I'm going to help find a better position, even if confined to a hospital bed, I will help her find the best relief and/or ask the hospital staff for a happy compromise. ie, standing next to the bed. During a long labor at home, I do a lot of cooking. And I'm not just cooking anything, I'm thinking about what nutrition mom is going to need at the different stages of labor. Then I wash the dishes. For massage, I prefer to use your oils and lotions to save us the possibility of you having a bad reaction to something I may have.

While I cannot speak on your behalf to medical staff, I can run interference with family. I can hug grandmas and give them reassurance. I can usher the uninvited cousin who found out about the birth, out of the room. I can run to the store and get that thing you forgot.

For dads/partners, they can relax and have someone else to lean on. I let mom's know I am here to take care of the three of you so mom can concentrate on her birth. I will send dad to shower, eat and take a 20 min nap when needed. I'm also going to encourage some alone time just the two of you to give you both a chance to savor the moment in private. For a mom who needs a lot of physical support, I can show dad exactly how to use his hands and body to help her cope.

Most importantly I am holding space.  From our prenatal meetings I have gotten to know your family and understand the birth you desire. While I cannot guarantee the details, I am your support person to help you stay empowered. I am the person who can remind you of your birth plan, and who will support you whatever you decide.  I am at your service. I will be calm and strong for you, and help you find the calm and strength within yourself.

Salud!

Maiysha

Women often come to me very informed, and very freaked out, about the high cesarean rates going around. I agree that these c-section rates of 30, 40% are alarming. And I agree that this over medicalized model of birth is detrimental to women and babies. At the same time, I want to help women trust that with the right birth circle, the technology of today can be a great tool not to be feared.

First off, remember that c-sections can be a life saving procedure for mother and baby. Hospitals do save lives everyday. What we also know is that the choices of many medical practitioners create preventable emergencies. To avoid the latter, it is of utmost importance that you select a care provider and support team for your birth circle that you trust and share your philosophies on childbirth.

The care provider you select is so important. If you are feeling unhappy with your care provider, don't think you will get more comfortable with them as the pregnancy progresses. People transfer care late in pregnancy all the time. So if you're getting a nagging feeling you're with the wrong person, you may want to really listen to that voice.

Then of course we know we cannot control life. And you can do everything "right" and then have  cesarean, or other interventions you didn't want anyway. You may have a lot of conflicting feelings about it. Whatever you are feeling is OK. Many people try to hush the negative feelings women have about their c-section saying, "But you have a healthy baby!" Yes, that is of course important. And being disappointed about how your birth went doesn't mean that you don't appreciate your baby. It's important to honor your feelings. It's also important to have people around you who honor how you feel about your birth.  Your feelings about it may change, as the weeks, months and years go by.  Be sure to get support and respect for whatever you are feeling. And if you find yourself alone in this endeavor, you need to give yourself that space and respect to do so.

For fun, take your pregnant measurements. Bust-waist-hip. I did mine towards the end of one of my pregnancies and all three numbers were the same. "Great," I said. "I'm a box!"