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That tiny little body, that big heavy head, this precious little package you are instantly responsible for and yet frighteningly you have zero experience taking care of a new baby and you are terrified! Take comfort new parents, I have compiled a simple list and explanation of all you need to know to take the best care of your new little ones.
For the mother of the baby: Lie in bed and let everyone take care of you. If breastfeeding is difficult and/or painful. DO NOT pick up that breastfeeding book, call me. You do not have to tough out breast/nipple pain. Pain with breastfeeding is a sign that your baby probably isn't getting enough milk. There are solutions. Call me. I'll come over and help you. Know you will cry. It may be a rational or irrational reason to cry. All those reasons are rational. Know that you are doing an amazing job and while you might fear others are judging you, your baby I assure you is not. Not yet at least. You have 16 years for that part to happen. You have been with this baby this baby's whole life, and now with this baby 24/7 still. Know that you will quickly become the expert on your baby. If you hear some advice that makes no sense to you, you are most likely right and that advice probably does not apply to you. For the support persons of the birth mother of the baby: Make sure mom can stay in bed and rest. Don't let a lot of people come over. If she has to put a shirt on for them to come over, they can't come over. Take care of the laundry. Do it yourself, drop it off, or have someone else do it. Wash the dishes. Yourself, machine, delegate, whatever. Just please get it done before she sees them. Serve her amazing home cooked meals every day. Again, yourself, delegate, whatever. Assume she is thirsty, don't wait until she asks you for a drink. Bring it. If mom is crying , comfort her and listen. Never judge her reasons for crying. Compliment the mom. But he honest. If you cannot find anything to compliment her on, pay closer attention. I'm sure she's doing an amazing job. Clean the entire house. Again, you can do it, or get someone else to do it. If breastfeeding is difficult, share her stressed out concern and get help immediately. This is so important to her. Be sure and take care of yourself too! You also just had a baby. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Eat well, shower, and nap when you can. For the baby: Change their diaper often. Feed them only breastmilk and/or formula. If formula, avoid soy formula unless prescribed by your pediatrician. Feed them a lot. If exclusively breastfeeding, you will feed them with a frequency that will make you text me and ask if its normal because its so frequent it just seems crazy. Yes, I know. Your baby was used to constant feeding in utero. Their tummy is tiny, breastmilk digests quickly. Rinse and repeat. Bathe them occasionally after their umbilical stump falls off. Before it falls off, make sure you fold the diaper down to not cover it. It needs to air out or it will smell really bad. Keep them warm, but naked with just a diaper on mom or other loved one with a blanket on their back is super for skin to skin. Continue skin to skin way after you come home from the hospital. Sleep when they sleep. If they are fed well, they will sleep better so focus on getting the feeding together and the rest of your life will be manageable. You don't need most of those products. If you want to spend a lot of money, buy a washer dryer. And a Nose Frida. Enjoy! Note: Lactation support is included in my birth doula package. Lactation consults are available to all new parents if I was your birth doula or not. Home visits are $225 for up to 3 hours. Sliding scale is available if you come to my home in Harlem. For details, please email: [email protected].
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When I took my lactation counselor certification training they talked about horses, zebras and unicorns. Meaning, most breastfeeding issues are "horses" and are pretty basic, and we should check for those first. Then there are the zebras, which are a little harder and you have to be pretty careful to not treat the situation as a horse and send mom off without what she needs when her issue is more complex. Then there are the unicorns, those very rare, hardly ever seen out of the text book cases that may really need an expert expert to solve. That is when an IBCLC, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, is often useful to bring into the mix.
I have lots of breastfeeding experience spanning over 14 years and I've helped many moms with a wide range of breastfeeding challenges. However, there are some cases that I need to refer to the big guns, the IBCLCs. I am going to add to this blog post with some names. Just right now I'm off to a birth. More later! And I'm back. Actually two new babies wiser that I was lucky enough to witness coming into the world! Below is a listing of some great breastfeeding people: Leigh Anne O'Conner IBCLC, [email protected] phone: (917) 596-3646 Ina Bransome as an IBCLC. Her number is 646-708-5427 Susan Berger, IBCLC (917) 912-8066 - [email protected] xo M I don't know how I got on the mailing list for this catalog, Independent Living Aids. It has supplies for people who are elderly and/or disabled. So I looked through it, considered buying a clock with humongous numbers. For what? I don't know. And then I came upon food bumpers. These little gizmo's are designed to help keep food from sliding off the plate when you are eating with one hand. I remember how difficult it was for me to eat one-handed when I was breastfeeding. Carefully cajoling the food onto the fork or spoon trying not to push it off the plate, and trying to not get overly frustrated and starving! Oy vey. Eureka I thought! This would be great for nursing moms! They also have a plate with a bumper. You could just find a dish that had a similar design, with a pronounced lip, to help. But the plate in the catalog also has a non-skid bottom--genius!
Bumpers: http://www.independentliving.com/prodinfo.asp?number=327540One handed plate: http://www.independentliving.com/prodinfo.asp?number=384360 Spill-proof bowls. Good for you now, good for your toddler later: http://www.independentliving.com/prodinfo.asp?number=356800http://www.independentliving.com/prodinfo.asp?number=356802And don't forget your Knork!http://www.independentliving.com/prodinfo.asp?number=182368Happy nursing!love,Maiysha There are so many health benefits of nursing. This piece I wrote is more about the social impact on you and your family. Often a mother and baby can master the physical process of nursing, but other people and situations can get in the way. We already know breastfeeding is best, but unfortunately, people around you are not always so supportive. Did you know the average length of breastfeeding around the world is 3 years, but here in the US it's often as little as two weeks? It's no surprise when there is often not enough support, and/or too many social taboos surrounding it.
Your family and friends Your family and friends may have been anxious to babysit and be disappointed to learn that their time with the baby will be limited. Nursing is natural and just like they couldn't hold the baby when you were pregnant, that is no reason to complain or urge you to do differently. Your choice to breastfeed may be uncomfortable for them for a variety of reasons. For other women who have had children and did not breastfeed, or did not breastfeed for long, may take it as a personal criticism of their parenting choices and expertise. This is especially hard with the women in your own family. If a woman was unable to solve her nursing issue, be it supply, sore nipples, or other, she may be resentful of your successful breastfeeding. There is no easy answer for this situation. What is important is that you don't let it question your decision to breastfeed. You may also get the "I was fed formula and I'm just fine!" argument. There are also many babies that were born premature and are just fine thanks to advances in neonatal care. That does not mean that we give women c-sections before their babies are ready because we have the technology to keep them alive way before their due date. Nature is always best as a first choice, then technology is a wonderful blessing to fill in the gaps. It is not wise to push nature out of the way unnecessarily. Also, are they just fine? I'm sure you have noticed all the diabetes, heart disease, childhood obesity and diabetes, cancer, autism, learning problems, etc, that seem to be on the rise in our society. There are numerous studies that point to the long-term health benefits of breastfeeding. Partners and Breastfeeding Some people believe that breastfeeding cuts off partners from the baby. This is just not true. The truth is, babies generally prefer their mothers when they are very small, regardless of their feeding style. It is also untrue that daddy does not have a role to play with a nursing baby. When mommy is nursing, she will need a lot of help. Partners can feel good that he is helping make sure his baby receives the absolute best start in life. Feeding is also not the only way to bond with the baby. There are plenty of fathers of breastfed babies who feel very close to their babies through regular cuddle time, playing, reading stories, bath time, diapering, etc. So how can Dads/Partners help? Physically, Partners can remember to always bring Mom a tall drink when Mom begins to nurse. She will need a drink every time, so if she doesn't have to ask, or do it herself, it is a huge plus. This may not sound like much, but trust me--it is! And in the summer time, make the drink bigger and with ice. Your Nursing Basket You can also make sure her "nursing basket" is always stocked. A nursing basket is any regular basket, that you keep supplied with: a bottle of water, a charged phone, remote controls, energy bars, snacks, her book, a few diapers and some wipes, a clean spit up rag, pen and paper...basically, all the handy stuff she may need because it may always seems to her as soon as she sits down to nurse, whatever she needs is across the room, at the other end of the house, and it’s too hard for her to limp around with a baby latched to the breast getting everything. This basket means she only needs to remember to pick up this one thing, sit down to nurse and be all set. If you can keep her nursing basket stocked, and bring her a fresh drink every time she sits/lays down to nurse (bring drinks when your home, bottled waters in the basket for when you’re not), you are Super Dad/Partner/Co-Parent! If you’re a single mom, the nursing basket can be a lifesaver! Any basket or container, with a handle you can pick up with one hand will do. It’s a must to keep it stocked so that you will have what you need once you sit or lay down to nurse. Emotionally, a partner’s support is priceless. Mom will get criticism from various sources. Breastfeeding can be challenging, and if she doesn't have you in her corner, she may give up more quickly. Your encouragement and support will help her continue through any rough times she may have. Another important job is to defend her from outsiders' criticism, especially family. Mom may get really tired of defending her choice all the time and your support is very important. If you are a single mom, you need to remember even more the importance of how unimportant it is to defend yourself. Short answers that do not leave room for more questions are best. At the next family gathering if someone says, "You're still breastfeeding that child?!" You don't even have to explain why. Single or not, you can just say, "Yes. Pass the bread please." If you don’t have the support you need, either from an unsupportive partner, absent partner, and/or family, it is important that you get it. Contact your local La Leche League to find a group of nursing mothers near you. Out in public, you may also get many strange reactions. A partner can help be a barrier there too. Once on the subway a woman sitting next to me was staring directly into my chest as I was preparing my baby and me to nurse. I was waiting for her to look somewhere else so I could start. I asked her to turn and she refused! I was speechless! That's when Daddy stepped in and physically blocked her. Everyone on the train was equally stunned by her poor manners! ;-) Book suggestion for breastfeeding help: The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers, Jack Newman & Teresa Pitman My best, Maiysha |
 Maiysha Campbell
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