At Peace

I had attended my first birth as a doula in 2002 but it wasn't until 201o that I made the leap to doula work full-time. It took a lot of soul searching and angst during the decision making process. I knew I wanted to do this, but was I really going to leave my very good and safe job in corporate world for the crazy world of self-employment in birth world? 

The first step was I cut my office hours down to part-time and then I was working as a birth assistant for homebirth midwife Marcy Tardio. The switch to birth world was becoming more and more obvious and real. Finally I set a three month date and let my employer know. It was a little teary at the office because I worked with really great people but I knew I had to follow my heart. Those last few months at the office I imagined what it would be like when I finally walked out that last day. Would I be exuberant? Would I be screaming for joy in the streets? Would I throw a party? But when it finally came, I just felt an overwhelming sense of peace. Yes, this is right. And I didn't need to do anything flashy about it. It was all I needed. I walked home quietly feeling so completely and utterly happy and at peace. And then when my first month out of the office job was booked solid, I did cry with joy.

Recently at a beautiful hospital birth, the mom had a beautiful birth pause after the birth of her baby. The birth pause is when you opt to not have the baby thrust in your arms at birth. Instead her midwife held the baby between her legs for a moment and waited for her to request the baby. The mother closed her eyes for a moment, it was four hours of pushing, she needed a moment. And then with complete complete calm, she reached down and took her baby, silently. It was an exquisitely beautiful quiet moment. She told me later that she wasn't excited, but more of an of course its you (her baby), of course! A Yes this is right, this is my baby and I'm not surprised, because she IS my daughter, always was and always will be. 

Sometimes the most amazing moments in our lives aren't fireworks. Sometimes they are silent. Its when we  know we are in alignment with our divine purpose and place in life. Its a beautiful place of peace.